Shopmama Blog #18: Her Prerogative.

9/20/2010

Oh, my feisty Eliza.

Eliza has never been a great sleeper. Since the day she was born, we’ve tried everything to get her to sleep through the night consistently. When we brought her home from the hospital, she slept in a crib with Joey. Joey would nuzzle against her and drift off peacefully. He only woke to eat and would go right back to sleep. He wasn’t huge into fussing. Eliza, on the other hand, was a fuss queen. I’d say she was borderline colicky. Now, this difference in their personalities wasn’t a huge surprise to me. When the babies were in my belly, Joey was always totally mellow. In fact, his heart rate never got quite high enough during my weekly non-stress tests/biophysicals. I always told the nurses, “no biggie, he’s just a mellow dude.” He moved around enough, and was always facing head down – ready to enter the world properly. Eliza, on the other hand, never concerned the nurses. Her heart rate went up and down like a champion, and she moved around like crazy – one week she’d be head down; the next week she’d be breech; the next week we’d find her in a transverse position (horizontal to my body). I knew she’d enter this world with her own agenda. She may be our youngest child, but she’s definitely our strongest…strongest-willed, that is.

Now, despite the myriad of sleep techniques attempted with Eliza, she STILL doesn’t sleep through the night. We have concluded, however, that she sleeps best when she’s alone in the room (we frequently remove Joey when he’s at his wits end with her noise, and put him in a pack ‘n play in our room). It seems Eliza’s incessant talking, whining, and then crying is her way of letting us know it’s her prerogative to have her own room. If she could talk, I feel like she’d flat out say to me, “Mom, I shared the womb. Now I want my own room.” At this point, I don’t know what else to think! She’ll fuss and fuss until we remove Joey from the room…and then she’ll fall right asleep. Is it possible for a baby to exhibit such diva behavior?! In my opinion, yes.

For those of you who have children successfully sharing rooms, I’m super jealous. We’ve tried EVERYTHING to get Eliza to sleep through the night. At this point, my conclusion is that she needs her own room. Tell me I’m crazy! We’re about to remodel our home this winter to add another bedroom…all so Eliza can have her own space. Seriously, am I crazy? I mean, I’m a really (and I mean really) light sleeper. Is it possible Eliza already shares this trait? If we remodel for her and she still doesn’t sleep through the night, I’ll feel like a total boob. Maybe I just need some advice…anyone care to share their thoughts??

Shopmama Blog #17: A la Johnny Cash: "My Own Personal...HELL!"

8/30/2010

I think I know what my personal hell might be…

Shane and I took the kids (including bulldog Ringo) up to our family lake home on the North Shore last weekend. The weather was perfect and we all had a wonderful time. We had fun outings to the Lake Superior Railroad Museum and Duluth Children’s Museum, and went on beautiful walks at Gooseberry Falls and the Two Harbors lighthouse lake walk. We had lunch at the local favorite, Betty’s Pies, and Shane and I also had a fabulous dinner at the New Scenic Cafe. All the kids took decent naps and slept fairly well at night. We even saw a “mommy dear and bambi” right up close! Sounds like heaven, right?! Where does the hell come in, you ask? … … the car ride home.

I’m usually VERY strategic when it comes to things like long car rides with the kids. I try to cover all my bases: play like crazy, eat until tummies are full, fresh diapers and comfy clothes on each child, and leave right before nap time. Well, for the first time in my life as a mother, I went out on a limb and left Two Harbors 1) on a freakin’ Sunday after the busiest weekend I’ve ever seen up north, 2) at a completely random time of day: 5:15pm, and 3) after we’d been warned of very heavy construction traffic. HUGE HUGE mistake. I should’ve trusted my instincts and stayed one more night.

We were about 20 minutes into our drive when we hit the first bout of traffic outside Duluth. Major road construction diverted all the weekend traffic to a measly traffic light, which also happened to be a left-turn. I could’ve walked through Duluth faster. Ugh. The babies most likely would’ve slept, but they didn’t appreciate the stop and go, so they got incredibly feisty…fussing and crying are understatements. So, what should’ve taken us 25 minutes took us about an hour and 15 minutes. That meant we still had a 2.5-hour drive ahead of us. Arg. Could’ve, would’ve, should’ve stayed another night!

So, after we went through all the “down to one lane” construction through Duluth, I thought we were in the clear. I guess I forgot about the other “down to one lane” construction about 30 minutes past Duluth. The babies had FINALLY fallen asleep and Linnea was content watching a movie…and then we hit dead stopped traffic AGAIN! I just waited to hear the first squeal come from the back of the minivan, and it took about 3 minutes. Oh man. I’m pretty sure I tried everything at that point to make the car ride go more smoothly. I gave the babies bottles, fed them Cheerios, made sure they didn’t have stinky diapers, played countless rounds of peek-a-boo, and handed out every toy in the car. When it came down to it, though, there was really nothing I could do. If we stopped, we’d only add more time on the road, and I wasn’t going to pull a Britney Spears by taking my babies out of their car seats while we were driving. We just had to suffer on down the road. *sigh*

Long story short: what is typically a 3-hour drive took us 4.5 hours, and we didn’t get home until 9:30pm. Thank GOD Linnea is such a remarkable child and she didn’t cause much added stress to the ride home. She mostly just sat quietly in her seat and tried to ignore the babies. She even laughed at me when I got stuck between seats on my way back and forth to the babies. So, there you have it… a ridiculous car ride with screaming babies is my current personal hell. I’ll let you know if anything changes.

Shopmama Blog #16: Oh no she didn't...

8/26/2010

So, I had my first “my child just said something that totally embarrassed me” moment today.

Linnea and I went on our first trip to the library this morning. I had to remind Linnea that we talk quietly in the library as we walked off toward the children’s section. I was all excited about sifting through the books, so I didn’t mind that Linnea quickly made a friend and played in a room nearby. I could hear her talking and giggling, so I knew she was having a good time. It was so fun to peak in on her and her new friend. It was hard to believe my baby girl was making friends on her own. It was so cute, I almost lost focus on my mission to find the best books. I didn’t lose my focus, though, until…

Linnea re-entered the main children’s section dancing and singing loudly (to the tune of the conga), “Poo poo on the potty! Poo poo on the potty!” Then she turned to her new friend and said, “like that!” She was clearly teaching her new friend the potty dance we do at home before and/or after a successful poo on the potty. It was totally embarrassing, but completely hilarious at the same time. The adults in the room smiled and laughed; older children pointed and giggled; and all the other toddlers looked intrigued. I’m sure I got slightly red in the face, but whatever. It was a classic embarrassed mommy moment, and it was worth every second.

Shopmama Blog #15: Detail + Confidence = Potty Success

8/8/2010

I started my last blog post by stating that I’m a laid back person, and I’m going to start this one by stating that I am also a detail-oriented person. Strange combination, I know. I never said I wasn’t strange. I always notice the little things. In many ways, being detail-oriented is a total nuisance. For example, I notice when sizes aren’t in order on retail racks, and I often correct them (as if I have the time). You can imagine how difficult it is for me to shop at TJMaxx and Nordstrom Rack! Hmm…I suppose one could argue that this example is more indicative of organizational behavior. Whatever. There I go being detail-oriented again! Yes, I’m very organizational too.

Ok, well, if I didn’t already lose you with that crazy self-description, I’ll get to the point: When it comes to potty training Linnea, my attention to detail has been anything but a nuisance. It has actually helped immensely. It has given me the ability to notice even the slightest change in her facial expression, which has been key in helping her make it to the potty. Now, I’ve been catching these fleeting moments since she was born, and I’ve been asking her if she’d like to use the potty for months, but it was just within the past week that she finally responded “Yes” instead of “NO!” This sudden change in desire has made me wish more than ever that I could read her little mind. What I wouldn’t give to know what finally clicked! She never responded to incentives such as M&Ms, jelly beans, or stickers, so I know it’s not due to incentive. I’ll just assume she decided being wet and soiled doesn’t feel good, and now that she has decent control of her bowel function, it’s more fun to go to the potty.

This is how I found her after she ran up the stairs last night saying, “I have to go pee pee!”

Yep – I almost fell over trying not to laugh as I discreetly took the photo.

So, this potty thing has added a whole new dynamic to our days. I’m always on guard watching Linnea for potty cues. I’m constantly paying attention to her facial expressions, body movements, and behaviors (ex.”hiding” in my closet). I know, I know – as if I don’t have enough to pay attention to already, right?! Don’t get me wrong, I’m still completely a “no pressure” potty trainer, but I feel like it’s my duty to catch the cues and remind her what she’s supposed to do with them. I probably ask her if she needs to use the potty every hour or two. It seems to work perfectly. She hasn’t had an accident in over a week. She has even woken up a couple mornings with a dry diaper. I could hardly believe it. This kid used to soak through overnight diapers all the time. Anyway, I think Linnea and I make a good potty training team. My attention to detail paired with her confident nature works in our favor for this developmental milestone. Overall, this potty training thing has been a smooth process….and, dare I say, kind of fun! I guess God decided to give me a break this time.

Shopmama Blog #14: Baby-proofing

8/1/2010

If you haven’t noticed already, I’m a pretty laid back person. When it came to baby-proofing the house when Linnea was first becoming mobile, I just baby-proofed as needed. Of course I covered all the outlets and gated the stairs, but not much more was required. Linnea just flat out didn’t get into things. She never opened cabinets she wasn’t supposed to open; if she found a foreign object on a shelf or on the floor, she didn’t eat it, but brought it to me; heck, she didn’t even go after Ringo’s water bowl! I never had to move my cleaning products, medications, or make up. We taught her personal possession early, and she just stayed away from things she knew weren’t “Linnea’s.” In fact, even “Daddy and Mommy’s” dusty liquor cabinet is still totally un-baby-proofed and easily accessible. Well, not for long…

I have a feeling Joey and Eliza are going to be into everything. Wait, let me quickly rethink and rephrase that: they are into everything! They just loooove things they aren’t supposed to have. Seriously, isn’t it amazing that babies totally know the difference!? Now, I’m not sure exactly why Joey and Eliza get into more things than Linnea did at their age. I suppose it’s a combination of personality and lack of supervision. When Linnea was 9 months old, she was my only focus. I was with her all the time and supervised every moment. Joey and Eliza, on the other hand, are often left to their own vices. I always keep an eye on them, but I’m also busy doing other things: unloading the dishwasher, doing a puzzle with Linnea, folding laundry, etc. Joey and Eliza simply have more time to get into things. Needless to say, some major baby-proofing has been occurring in our house.

Most of the daily baby-proofing goes on when Joey and Eliza have free rein of the upstairs. Both Joey and Eliza have opened the cabinet under the kitchen sink (cleaning supplies galore), so I’ve started looking for effective cabinet locks. I’ve found Joey with both hands submerged in Ringo’s water multiple times, so Ringo’s water and food are now put away during the day. I also close the bathroom door, because it seems to be their favorite room – ewww. I shut Linnea’s and the babies’ bedroom doors due to Joey’s fascination with electrical cords. Each morning I pull the living room blinds halfway up and wrap the cords out of reach. Eliza’s a huge fan of the blinds; Joey the cords. I do a visual sweep of the main floor to make sure none of Linnea’s “choke-able” toys are laying around. I do a physical sweep (literally with the broom) underneath the kitchen table and in the kitchen to make sure there aren’t any food remnants on the floor. I put away shoes that are left by the back door. I shut the door to the downstairs. Oh, and the biggest manner of baby-proofing done recently was moving our living room couch smack dab in front of the fireplace. Yep, I completely covered the fireplace with the couch. It definitely looks weird, but it keeps Joey and Eliza from exploring the bricks and ashes. That fireplace was a hazardous baby magnet. So, my house has officially become what I always swore it wouldn’t become: a completely child-proofed baby zone…but, hey, I never thought I’d have THREE kids.

Shopmama Blog #13: What "time" is it?

7/24/2010

According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of “time” is: a nonspatial continuum that is measured in terms of events which succeed one another from past through present to future.

Joey and Eliza turned 9 months old yesterday. Part of me believes it completely and the other part of me is dumbfounded. A lot of the time, when I’m in the thick of daily life with the kids, I feel like time just drags. I often find myself saying, “When is this day going to end?” Sometimes living in the moment feels like living in slow motion. Then, there are the days when I say things like, “Wow, that nap went by quickly!” or “Is it really already Friday?” So, “time” in my world is an interesting phenomenon; months past feel like they just happened yesterday, the present feels somewhat stagnant, and the future feels far away. In reality, though, the future never is far away. I guess I live most days with a “take it one day at a time” approach, so when I wake up and the babies are 9 months old, I feel like I’ve received a good morning slap in the face (or something). What?! Joey and Eliza are only 3 months away from being 1 year old!? 1 year old?! That’s crazy. Wasn’t I still pregnant with them…like…yesterday?! Three months seems like a long time (and it feels like it too when I’m living it), but it’ll fly by just like all the previous 9 months. Yikes. I guess I better be careful when I wish for the kids to be school-age.

I think part of the reason the first year of a child’s life seems to go by so quickly is because of the astonishing growth and development rate. I mean, in the first year of life, babies go from being tiny sacks of potatoes to walking, communicating, lively little beings. Does it happen too fast? In my opinion, sometimes it doesn’t happen fast enough, and sometimes it happens WAY too fast. For example, it would be great if Joey and Eliza would start to feed themselves sooner than later. On the flip side, it would be great if they weren’t already climbing the stairs! Also, I’m really looking forward to the day Joey and Eliza really start playing with Linnea. They owe her big time. She has been an amazing big sister.

In terms of the future, I’m anxious and excited to see what it holds. When I run into people with twins, they always tell me that life doesn’t necessarily get easier, it just gets “different.” I can already see the truth in that statement. For sure. There are a lot of developmental milestones in the future that I have no idea how we’ll handle, but we will handle them. We’ll adjust. That’s life. Good thing I don’t have a major aversion to change. For now, I suppose I’ll keep taking it “one day at a time,” but I’ll try to remember to appreciate each moment (no matter how exhausting, wonderful, chaotic, rewarding…).

Shopmama Blog #12: The Power Half-Hour

7/15/2010

Sometimes my life feels so crazy, I literally wonder how I’ll make it through to the next minute. I’ve coined a new phrase for such times. I call it the “Power Half-Hour,” and it is a time during which all hell breaks loose in the house. By “all hell,” I mean everyone is seriously needy at the same time, and the neediness lasts for approximately half an hour. When I’m in the thick of a power half-hour, it feels like it’ll never end. I run around like a chicken with my head cut off, multi-task like a mad woman, and try to remember to breathe as I grind my teeth in frustration…or desperation. Even though power half-hours feel like they’ll never end, they’re always over in a flash. That’s when I sit down, take a lot of deep breaths, fan my shirt (because I’m always sweating by the end of it), and shake my head like “whoa” as I attempt to gather my thoughts.

Tonight I had my most intense power half-hour to date. I knew it was coming too. Linnea had taken a very short nap, which doesn’t bode well for her fuse. Joey was just out of sorts all day, and Eliza was…well, Eliza. She’s unpredictable, and she had taken to blasting extremely high-pitched screams very unpredictably all afternoon. To top it all off, Shane was out for happy hour. All these things were a recipe for disaster.

Joey lost it first in a very un-Joeylike way; he just started crying and wouldn’t stop unless I held him (and even then he was still whining). Eliza was trying to climb me and got really frustrated when she realized I wasn’t a mountain. Let the high pitched screams begin! That’s about when Linnea lost it. She was patient with Joey’s incessant crying, but Eliza’s piercing screams put her over the edge. At that point, Linnea needed my arms too. So, I put a crying Joey down, hugged Linnea and apologized for the insanity..and Joey crawled off at a rapid pace. I put a frustrated Linnea back down and went to retrieve Joey. When I returned with Joey, Linnea was luring Eliza up the stairs. Yes, Eliza was scaling the stairs. Unbelievable. I guess she found her mountain! This girl isn’t even 9 months old yet. Yikes. I put Joey back down and watched him crawl off toward some computer wires as I ran up the stairs to grab Eliza…and the retriever saga continued with on and off crying/screaming/whining coming from at least two children at a time.

So, I honestly don’t remember what I did with Linnea and Eliza while I fed Joey a bottle. I think I put Eliza in an exersaucer in the kitchen, and left Linnea downstairs watching Max and Ruby. Yeah, that’s exactly what I did. I also made sure to turn on the sound machine at full blast while I fed Joey, so he had peace while he ate and drifted off to sleep. Ahhh…one down. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I got Linnea situated at the dinner table and popped Snow White into the portable DVD player. I had to give Eliza my car keys to keep her intermittent screams to a minimum while I prepared her dinner. Aaaaaand, the power half hour was over. Linnea was comfortable at the table and I was feeding Eliza. Things were fairly manageable again. Oh, and that’s about the time daddy walked through the door. Of course…