Shopmama Blog #12: The Power Half-Hour

7/15/2010

Sometimes my life feels so crazy, I literally wonder how I’ll make it through to the next minute. I’ve coined a new phrase for such times. I call it the “Power Half-Hour,” and it is a time during which all hell breaks loose in the house. By “all hell,” I mean everyone is seriously needy at the same time, and the neediness lasts for approximately half an hour. When I’m in the thick of a power half-hour, it feels like it’ll never end. I run around like a chicken with my head cut off, multi-task like a mad woman, and try to remember to breathe as I grind my teeth in frustration…or desperation. Even though power half-hours feel like they’ll never end, they’re always over in a flash. That’s when I sit down, take a lot of deep breaths, fan my shirt (because I’m always sweating by the end of it), and shake my head like “whoa” as I attempt to gather my thoughts.

Tonight I had my most intense power half-hour to date. I knew it was coming too. Linnea had taken a very short nap, which doesn’t bode well for her fuse. Joey was just out of sorts all day, and Eliza was…well, Eliza. She’s unpredictable, and she had taken to blasting extremely high-pitched screams very unpredictably all afternoon. To top it all off, Shane was out for happy hour. All these things were a recipe for disaster.

Joey lost it first in a very un-Joeylike way; he just started crying and wouldn’t stop unless I held him (and even then he was still whining). Eliza was trying to climb me and got really frustrated when she realized I wasn’t a mountain. Let the high pitched screams begin! That’s about when Linnea lost it. She was patient with Joey’s incessant crying, but Eliza’s piercing screams put her over the edge. At that point, Linnea needed my arms too. So, I put a crying Joey down, hugged Linnea and apologized for the insanity..and Joey crawled off at a rapid pace. I put a frustrated Linnea back down and went to retrieve Joey. When I returned with Joey, Linnea was luring Eliza up the stairs. Yes, Eliza was scaling the stairs. Unbelievable. I guess she found her mountain! This girl isn’t even 9 months old yet. Yikes. I put Joey back down and watched him crawl off toward some computer wires as I ran up the stairs to grab Eliza…and the retriever saga continued with on and off crying/screaming/whining coming from at least two children at a time.

So, I honestly don’t remember what I did with Linnea and Eliza while I fed Joey a bottle. I think I put Eliza in an exersaucer in the kitchen, and left Linnea downstairs watching Max and Ruby. Yeah, that’s exactly what I did. I also made sure to turn on the sound machine at full blast while I fed Joey, so he had peace while he ate and drifted off to sleep. Ahhh…one down. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I got Linnea situated at the dinner table and popped Snow White into the portable DVD player. I had to give Eliza my car keys to keep her intermittent screams to a minimum while I prepared her dinner. Aaaaaand, the power half hour was over. Linnea was comfortable at the table and I was feeding Eliza. Things were fairly manageable again. Oh, and that’s about the time daddy walked through the door. Of course…

Shopmama Blog #11: How 'bout Safety 2nd?

7/10/2010

A couple weeks ago, on a rainy Thursday evening, my husband and I sat with our neighbors on their deck and shared a bottle (or two…or three) of wine. Our neighbors are also parents of three young children, so we relate on many levels. As the conversation progressed, it inevitably took a turn toward our children. That’s when my neighbor said something that completely resonated with me. She was talking about the transition from one to two children and then from two to three children. She said the transition from one to two children was fairly smooth. It took a good amount of adjustment, but it was manageable. It was the transition from two to three when she realized safety became an issue. She flat out said, “having three children feels unsafe.” Simply said, but it summed up exactly how I’ve been feeling for the past 9 months. It so perfectly described how I feel a LOT of the time as I continue to adapt to daily life with three kids. There are so many parenting “don’ts” that I frequently have no choice but to “do.” Let me give you some examples:

1). I leave all my children playing together unsupervised.

2). When Linnea is in the bathtub, I often step away for a brief moment.

3). I let Linnea play alone in the backyard.

4). I don’t actually strap Joey and Eliza into their high chairs.

5). I leave the kids in the car while I unload groceries.

You get the idea. Now, obviously I do all these things only momentarily. I can always still see or hear the kids from wherever it is I momentarily ran off to, but I also always tell myself: You should know better. Accidents happen in seconds. *sigh*

As a parent, I have to pick and choose my battles each and every day. I constantly remind myself that I’m doing the best I can. I can only protect my children as much as my mind and body will allow…and I just have to find peace in that. I’m only one person (up against 3). Oh, and Eliza and Joey, who are almost 9 months, are now crawling and pulling themselves up onto everything. I’m going to need more of my protective mind and body than ever before. Wish me luck, my friends, wish me luck.

Shopmama Blog #10: The "I HATE" Game

7/8/2010

I consider myself a pretty positive person. My glass is typically half-full, if you will. However, I’ve invented a new game, and it’s called the “I Hate Game.” It is also, I have come to realize, a coping mechanism I’ve developed since becoming a mother of 3 under 3. I play this game when I start to get irritated, or when I’m just in a bad mood. It’s mostly about complaining, but it feels good to unload, and it always ends up making me laugh. It’s kind of hard to explain the rules exactly, so I’ll just give you an example of how I played it recently. I have a feeling you’ll get the gist of it.

After a long, difficult day with the kids, I was washing bottles (the last thing I really felt like doing) and I just flat out said, “I HATE washing bottles.” Saying it out loud felt good, so I continued: “I HATE that the garbage is ALWAYS full.” “I HATE that I’m exhausted and I still have to put all the backyard toys away.” “I HATE it when I buy a dozen eggs to make egg salad, but don’t get around to making it before the eggs expire.”… … … Most of my “I HATEs” begin with the usual not so enjoyable household duties. Then I start getting creative, and that’s when my mood begins to shift. … … … “I HATE it when I’m sitting in church and the old guy next to me has a whistle coming from his nose as he breathes.” “I HATE that when it rains and I walk into a store I’m always the ONLY one with really squeaky shoes.” “I HATE that most elevators have nothing to look at other than the floor numbers – awkward.” “I HATE that I go to Target almost every day, but I still have a hard time finding what I need.” “I also HATE it that I go to Starbucks almost every day, but never know what I want when it’s my turn to order, and then I end up ordering the same thing I always order.” … … …

You can see the direction of these “I HATE” statements, right? Isn’t it interesting how something so seemingly negative can produce such a positive effect?! I always end up laughing, and then I’m much more relaxed. Sometimes I even finish those annoying end of the day household duties with a little smile on my face. After all, once I’m on a roll, I can’t really stop. I keep thinking of funny “I HATEs” and I’m able to go to bed with the giggles, which totally annoys my husband…which makes me giggle even more.

Shopmama Blog #9: Hail the Conquering Hero!

6/22/2010

Mission: Nap Schedule = Accomplished

It took about 7 -8 months, but Joey and Eliza are officially on the two-a-day nap schedule (sometimes 3 for Eliza). Woohoo! Accomplishing this feat is a big deal in mommy world, so I’m giving myself a small pat on the back. It is no easy task to catch the open sleep window, especially with my hands already so full. I have a lot to pay attention to all the time. I had to make catching the sleep window a priority. So, for a long time, I was on my toes watching for sleep cues. It was definitely tricky with two babies. Here’s the incredibly abridged version of how it worked:

Eliza was (and still is) much more predictable than Joey. When she needs sleep, she wants to sleep…and she lets me know it! As long as she doesn’t get overtired, I’m able to put her down and she rolls right over. Joey, on the other hand, is so mellow that it’s hard to catch his sleep window. He’ll just kind of chill until it’s eye rubbing and ear pulling time. That’s when I know he’s really tired, and sometimes it’s too late. In order to get him down, I have to let him cry. Now, it’s obviously ideal to get both babies sleeping at the same time. This is tricky for the morning nap. Joey and Eliza typically wake up for the morning at different times (Joey usually earlier than Eliza by about an hour). Here’s the catch, though…Joey lasts longer awake in the morning. He doesn’t need to go back down for an hour and a half to two hours after he wakes up. Eliza goes back down after an hour. So, almost daily I’m able to get both Joey and Eliza napping for some amount of time between 9-11am. Whether they sleep for an hour or two hours still varies. Oh well…

The afternoon nap is really where the “conquering hero” comes into play. Yep, I’m able to get ALL THREE babies down at the same time! Toot Toot (that was my own horn). After Joey and Eliza wake up from their morning nap, they’re good to go for about 2-3 hours. I wear them out by taking them on outings with Linnea, or we just play at home. When lunch time comes around, I get everyone fed and changed, and put them all down. YES! I finally have a little “me” time during the day. Fabulous. Oh, and I should admit…I do have a summer girl. There’s NO WAY outings would occur on a regular basis without an extra set of hands.

So, there you have it. No, it wasn’t easy, and, yes, I left a LOT out. Naps are a daily challenge. The naps still vary, but for the most part, the babies are on a schedule. It makes my life feel somewhat less chaotic, and I get the best out of both babies when they’re well-rested. All the hard work is worth it. It feels GREAT when my babies wake up happy. It’s almost like I’ve napped too!

Shopmama Blog #8: Mommy Neuroses

6/6/2010

So, I’m starting to think I’m becoming slightly (ok, maybe a little more than slightly) neurotic. I’m using the term loosely, of course, as a diagnosis for my growing list of “mom-ish” pet peeves. Now, these pet peeves cause me fairly significant emotional stress at their occurrence. Before I had children, I probably wouldn’t have even blinked an eye at such occurrences. It’s amazing how parenthood changes us in SO many different ways. You’re probably wondering about these pet peeves…here’s a short list:

1). Solicitors ringing my doorbell during nap time. Why this bothers me: It’s loud and my bulldog goes ballistic. Getting all three babies asleep at the same time is like winning an Olympic gold medal (so I would think). When there is a taped sign over my doorbell that says, “don’t ring,” I expect NO ONE to ring my doorbell…especially during nap time. Common sense, solicitors, common sense.

2). Drivers that tailgate. Why this bothers me: I’m driving a minivan, which obviously means the likelihood of children in my car is high. Not to mention the two infant car seats that are clearly visible through the back window. Also, I’m not an overly cautious driver. I keep up with traffic and I’m respectful of the left-hand “fast” lane rules. There should be no reason to tailgate my minivan.

3). Cheetos and/or cheesy snacks. – ’nuff said.

4). People who bring their unruly children to not so child-friendly places (nice restaurants, salons, etc.). Okay, if your sitter cancels on you at the last minute and you absolutely HAVE to bring your child, fine…but don’t act like he/she has a right to disturb the peace. Be apologetic, and if it gets really bad, leave. Don’t punish those of us who did pay a sitter. Oh, and don’t pretend you’re unaware your children are unruly. Chuck E. Cheese’s was invented for a reason.

5). The upsell at the drive-thru. Why this bothers me: I’m usually short of time when going through the drive-thru, and often have crying babies in the back. It’s fast food, for gosh sake. I know what I want. You don’t need to try to sell me your Angus Deluxe Burger, and then cut me off when I start talking by switching to the real drive-thru dispatcher. Annoying.

So, there you have it. I sound like a meanie, but these are [some of] the things that drive me crazy now that I’m a mommy. Hey, nobody’s perfect, right?! I could also go on to list all the things I’ve become obsessive compulsive about since having children. Darn mommy neuroses…

Shopmama Blog #7: ...and to Cap it all off

5/28/2010

::Trend Alert:: What’s the newest trend in baby accessories? The elusive CranioCap. What, might you ask, is that? And, where can you get one?! Allow me to enlighten you. According to www.gillettechildrens.org, the definition of “craniocap” is “a cranial orthosis custom-made for your baby.” In layman’s terms, it’s a helmet for babies with flat heads. Now, this flat head thing is a fairly new medical issue in baby world, and it’s happening mostly because of the “back is best” movement. In most cases, it’s not a major issue and it’s easily correctable. The long and short of it is this: some babies come into the world with a preference for lying on one side of the head. Since it is now recommended to place babies on their backs to sleep, a growing number of babies are developing flat spots on the preferred side. The CranioCap was created to ensure infant cranio-perfection (among other things).

So, as if I don’t have enough on my plate these days, BOTH Joey and Eliza are now sporting the helmet look. This adds some daily helmet maintenance and baby washing to my already busy routine. Great. If I have to remember to do ONE more thing in my day, I might lose my mind completely. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m still working on losing the pregnesia from this past pregnancy. I have my fingers crossed that this helmet stage will be as short-lived as possible.

In all honesty, though, it’s not that bad. It didn’t take long for Joey and Eliza to get used to wearing the Cap (for 22 hours a day), and it’s already starting to work it’s magic. It’s also kind of nice the babies’ heads are protected from the occasional topple-over from their newest skill, sitting up. Oh, and they’re also protected from the occasional (not so gentle) love taps from big sister Linnea. Plus, it’s kind of fun to run into other mommies of helmeted babies while running errands…always sparks interesting conversations.

Anyway, just when I’m thinking, ‘jeez, God, could you put one more thing on my plate?’ I remind myself that I’m lucky. I’m lucky to have two healthy, strong babies. In reality, there could be MUCH more on my plate. I’m extremely thankful I have happy, healthy babies that are headed to perfection.

Shopmama Blog #6: Everyone Loses it Sometimes

5/3/2010

Back in February, my husband started asking what I’d like for my birthday. Did I want a party? No. Did I want dinner with friends and/or family? Eh. I told him I’d like a night in a hotel…BY MYSELF. He wasn’t all that pleased by the “by myself” part, but I think he understood. Well, as it turns out, I got my birthday present early. Here’s the story:

Mid February I had my one and only (to date) complete meltdown since the birth of the babies. I called my husband at about 11am and told him I was “done.” I couldn’t take the crying. My patience level, which is typically very high, was worn to zero (or maybe even negative). I was tired, frustrated, and I had just plain had it. I was snapping at Linnea, which I knew was unfair, but I was completely out of deep breaths and counts to 10. Heck, I even snapped at poor Ringo (the bulldog).

After I was done with my ranting and raving, I hung up the phone, and tried to compose myself. I had to get through the day somehow. About 30 minutes later, my husband called back and said, “I’ll be home in a hour. Pack your things. You’re done for today and you’re staying at The Westin tonight.” Though I hadn’t outright asked for one, my husband knew I needed a break. Thankful as I was, I was also stunned by the surprise. I’m not going to lie, getting everything ready at the drop of a hat to go away for the night wasn’t exactly easy. My mind raced with the following thoughts: Will Shane be able to handle all three babies by himself? Maybe I should call his mom to come help. It would be nice if Shane could meet me for dinner. When did I pump last? Will the babies have enough milk? I guess I could pull some out of the freezer. Oh, I’ll have to bring my pump and breastmilk storage bags to the hotel tonight. What will Linnea have for dinner? I think we’re out of fruit. Maybe I’ll stop at the grocery store and bring something home before I head to the hotel. Jeez, do I even have any clean clothes? What will I wear if I go out to dinner? I might just have to pick something up and eat it in the hotel room, or get room service. Nah, too expensive. I wonder if I have time to do a load of laundry. Oh, but I don’t dry my jeans anyway. Ugh. ….. I could go on and on, but I’m guessing you get the point.

So, I left the house at 3pm. My first stop…Hot Mama, of course! I figured I’d solve my ‘no clothes’ problem. I was expecting to drop a significant chunk of change at Hot Mama, so I called my husband to get the okay. He hasn’t ever actually said, “no,” but I think he appreciates the call. It makes him feel respected and important. Anyway, I ended up getting a couple tops and a new pair of William Rast jeans. On a side note, William Rast: larger waist + smaller legs = great post-pregnancy jeans. Hudson Jeans also fit this category. I tried on clothes and chatted with the girls for an hour and a half and was on my way. The rest of my evening included dinner with Shane and Linnea at Crave (who wants to eat alone?), a nice, hot bath, and a champagne toast to my freedom. Aaahhhhhhh.

I loved my alone time. It was refreshing and much-needed. I was a version of my former self for a night and it felt good. I highly recommend it. Yes, it takes letting go of control at home, and it might also take a little re-prioritizing and some household budget adjustment, but it’s WELL worth it. I mean, don’t put a price on your sanity, people! As Mufasa puts it in The Lion King, “Remember who you are.” I believe if we remember who we are, we don’t completely lose it. Sometimes remembering means being by yourself. Make it happen. As I got in my car to return home the next morning, I took a deep breath and I told myself, “I’m a mother of 3 under 3 and I CAN DO THIS.” …haven’t had a meltdown since.