Shopmama Blog #6: Everyone Loses it Sometimes

5/3/2010

Back in February, my husband started asking what I’d like for my birthday. Did I want a party? No. Did I want dinner with friends and/or family? Eh. I told him I’d like a night in a hotel…BY MYSELF. He wasn’t all that pleased by the “by myself” part, but I think he understood. Well, as it turns out, I got my birthday present early. Here’s the story:

Mid February I had my one and only (to date) complete meltdown since the birth of the babies. I called my husband at about 11am and told him I was “done.” I couldn’t take the crying. My patience level, which is typically very high, was worn to zero (or maybe even negative). I was tired, frustrated, and I had just plain had it. I was snapping at Linnea, which I knew was unfair, but I was completely out of deep breaths and counts to 10. Heck, I even snapped at poor Ringo (the bulldog).

After I was done with my ranting and raving, I hung up the phone, and tried to compose myself. I had to get through the day somehow. About 30 minutes later, my husband called back and said, “I’ll be home in a hour. Pack your things. You’re done for today and you’re staying at The Westin tonight.” Though I hadn’t outright asked for one, my husband knew I needed a break. Thankful as I was, I was also stunned by the surprise. I’m not going to lie, getting everything ready at the drop of a hat to go away for the night wasn’t exactly easy. My mind raced with the following thoughts: Will Shane be able to handle all three babies by himself? Maybe I should call his mom to come help. It would be nice if Shane could meet me for dinner. When did I pump last? Will the babies have enough milk? I guess I could pull some out of the freezer. Oh, I’ll have to bring my pump and breastmilk storage bags to the hotel tonight. What will Linnea have for dinner? I think we’re out of fruit. Maybe I’ll stop at the grocery store and bring something home before I head to the hotel. Jeez, do I even have any clean clothes? What will I wear if I go out to dinner? I might just have to pick something up and eat it in the hotel room, or get room service. Nah, too expensive. I wonder if I have time to do a load of laundry. Oh, but I don’t dry my jeans anyway. Ugh. ….. I could go on and on, but I’m guessing you get the point.

So, I left the house at 3pm. My first stop…Hot Mama, of course! I figured I’d solve my ‘no clothes’ problem. I was expecting to drop a significant chunk of change at Hot Mama, so I called my husband to get the okay. He hasn’t ever actually said, “no,” but I think he appreciates the call. It makes him feel respected and important. Anyway, I ended up getting a couple tops and a new pair of William Rast jeans. On a side note, William Rast: larger waist + smaller legs = great post-pregnancy jeans. Hudson Jeans also fit this category. I tried on clothes and chatted with the girls for an hour and a half and was on my way. The rest of my evening included dinner with Shane and Linnea at Crave (who wants to eat alone?), a nice, hot bath, and a champagne toast to my freedom. Aaahhhhhhh.

I loved my alone time. It was refreshing and much-needed. I was a version of my former self for a night and it felt good. I highly recommend it. Yes, it takes letting go of control at home, and it might also take a little re-prioritizing and some household budget adjustment, but it’s WELL worth it. I mean, don’t put a price on your sanity, people! As Mufasa puts it in The Lion King, “Remember who you are.” I believe if we remember who we are, we don’t completely lose it. Sometimes remembering means being by yourself. Make it happen. As I got in my car to return home the next morning, I took a deep breath and I told myself, “I’m a mother of 3 under 3 and I CAN DO THIS.” …haven’t had a meltdown since.